Liberalcrow's Doodleverse

Welcome to the Doodleverse. Every week (or so) this site will be updated with new characters representing the duality of life. Post general comments, stories, or recipes for chicken marsala. You can also post modernism, apocalypse, Markie Post, or General Mills. All other postings will be denied! Or not!!

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

G. Gordon Deathbot Jr. wants your future to be free.

G. Gordon Deathbot Jr.

Ethical Stance: Hero

Skills and Abilities: G. Gordon Deathbot Jr. was born with all of the skills and abilities of his father, but at varying degrees. For example, he is as not quite as strong as his father, but he is a better tactician, has superior vision, speed, stamina, and ability to write for children than his father. In addition, he has inherited near superhuman sexy dancing skills from his mother. Unfortunately, his plumbing abilities are well below average, and he is extremely clumsy with a plunger. Unlike his father, he does feel pain, but finds strength in joy. G. Gordon Deathbot Jr. can immediately repair his body by singing that Jackie Wilson song that’s in Ghostbusters II.  He also has a genius level intellect, which allowed him (at the age of 15) to build a time machine to travel back to the early 21st.

Weaknesses: Unlike his father, G. Gordon Deathbot Jr. does not need to feed on hippies, in fact, he finds them to be very nice, except for the baby-boomer ones, who are a little too narcissistic for his taste. 

If G. Gordon Deathbot Jr. is fatally wounded, and he cannot sing the Jackie Wilson hit, (Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher, before his body shuts down all its functions, he will die. G. Gordon Deatbot Jr. also maintains a list of the ten greatest songwriters (based on science and his opinion) in any given time that he is in. If an enemy recites that list to him, he will go into a catatonic state for six minutes and thirty-three seconds. Pinkertons in the employ of the senior Deathbot have discovered nine names on the current list are (in no particular order): Tom Gabel, Elvis Costello, Carlton Rindenhour, Jeffery Haynes, Reggie Noble, Ted Leo, Bob Dylan, Colin Meloy, and Dr. Greg Graffin. There is some speculation that the final name is Andy Breckman, but this has not been confirmed. Luckily, when presented with this evidence, Deathbot Sr. destroyed the list, not out of compassion, but out of a strong and stubborn belief that there could be no better songwriter than Pat Boone (who, paradoxically, did not write any songs that Deathbot Sr. likes).

Origin: G. Gordon Deathbot Jr. was born in secret in 2076 when insanity enthusiast and world monarch G. Gordon Deathbot gave his life-essence to the unsuspecting eggs of a Thai courtesan who was just trying to put her way through space college. 

When G.G. Jr.’s mother learned that she was pregnant, she made the wise decision to keep this news from his father, despite the wealth that it might have gained her, because she new that a G. Gordon Deathbot Jr. raised by his father would be given only two possible fates—early death, or an apprenticeship in evil.

As his father gained power, and eventually began to dominate the future, G.G. Jr.’s mother (who eventually became a professor of cheese biotics at the Moon University) trained her son for his eventual mission, the assassination of his father.

When G. Gordon Deathbot Jr. turned 15, he set off to fulfill his destiny. The outcome of his quest is unclear, but according to a handwritten plan found by one of the private investigators sent to investigate G.G. Jr. in our time, his mother left instructions to travel back to the 21st century after the fratricide was complete to make sure that the future would never have to deal with the libertarian, hawkish rule of G. Gordon Deathbot. This was also discarded as rubbish by the senior Deathbot, because there were no mention of plumbing in the plan.

It is unclear how the time travels of both Deathbots have affected the timeline. One clue that G.G. Jr. may come from an alternate reality is the fact that he was surprised to learn that The Office was a huge hit in the United States, but that no one had ever heard of the American version of Saxondale starring H. Jon. Benjamin. According to G.G. Jr., in America, only comedy nerds know what The Office is, while the American Saxondale was hugely popular and influential (before his father gained power and began censoring the entertainment).

Associations and Relations: G. Gordon Deathbot Jr.’s single-mindedness and relative youth have prevented him from making many associations other than his father, G. Gordon Deathbot. He has worked with Roberto Devlin once, to help stop the plans of Rothko-Man and his father. Roberto Devlin refused to tell him anything about his future, but did offer a cryptic and simple, “Thank you,” at the end of their adventure.

G. Gordon Deathbot Jr. has formed a school-boy crush on Mobley: Night After Night With Allan Havey Super-fan, after she helped him with directions to Roberto Devlin’s Spaghetti Lair.

Enemies: G. Gordon Deathbot and G. Gordon Deathbot Jr. are locked in a mortal battle for the future of freedom and democracy. G. Gordon Deathbot has also tangled with Rothko-man. 

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