Liberalcrow's Doodleverse

Welcome to the Doodleverse. Every week (or so) this site will be updated with new characters representing the duality of life. Post general comments, stories, or recipes for chicken marsala. You can also post modernism, apocalypse, Markie Post, or General Mills. All other postings will be denied! Or not!!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Mayor of Crazytown will only deal with roundabout related matters... thank you very much.

The Mayor of Crazytown

Ethical Stance: Insane Despot

Skills and Abilities: The Mayor of Crazytown was an extremely talented and charismatic politician before he descended into complete madness. He used this skill to rise to the Mayoral office of Carmel, Indiana. These skills have eroded as he has spiraled into the swirling drain of insanity, but he has managed to maintain his power by his nearly superhuman ability to speak in circles, and by preying on the simple fact that most rich people are stupid.

Weaknesses: Straight roads. Logic.

Origin: Jim Brainard was always a strange child, obsessed with circles. At the age of 5 he wrote a letter to Santa asking for, “a hula hoop, a Frisbee, a bunt cake pan, and a mathematical or navigational compass.” As a young eagle scout, he was shunned by his compatriots for constantly singing the song, Red Rubber Ball, by his favorite band, The Cyrkle. Despite these minor quirks, he was, for the most part, functional.

He managed to graduate with a law degree from Northern Ohio University (he chose to go to law school in Ohio because it's the only state that begins and ends with a circular letter), and settled in Carmel, Indiana. As a young lawyer, he became frustrated by how straight all the roads in Carmel were, and he found it impossible to move around the city. Eventually, he could take no more, and in 1995 he ran a self-funded campaign to become Mayor of Carmel. It was shortly after his election that his break with reality began. Brainard knew he wanted to change Carmel, but the demands of the campaign had not given him time to flesh out a specific plan. So, on his first day as Mayor, he made his aides lock him in his office for 88 hours, with explicit instructions not to disturb him, or let him out. During those fateful hours, his mind broke, and he came up with his diabolical plan to make a new, “perfect” Carmel. When the doors were finally unlocked he emerged, with a 888 page plan on round paper, desperately gasping, “It’s all going to be round.”

His first official act as mayor was to change all of the city’s vehicles to VW Beetles, but this was just a small fragment of his, long overarching plan to put a roundabout in every intersection. Soon, ground broke on the first roundabout, and Carmel started its journey toward becoming the roundaboutest city in America.

As the Mayor of Crazytown’s enemies grew, so did his ambition and ability to destroy them. When a reporter asked him if it made sense to put thousands of roundabouts in a northern city that often has slick streets in the winter, the mayor answered by laughing for 88 minutes straight. The next day, the proscriptions began. Soon like Sulla and Caesar before him, The Mayor of Crazytown had consolidated his power with his friends and smashed his car into the busses of his enemies.

As he entered into his unprecedented fourth term as the mayor of Carmel, a young rebel appeared in his city, a rebel that would threaten everything he held dear (in other words, circles).

While digging up the land for the Monon park, one of the workers found a found a fossil that, upon further investigation, seemed to link humans evolutionarily to fish. When the Mayor got wind of this development, he invited the worker and the scientist he contacted about the fossil to his private circular retreat, to celebrate the discovery.

The mayor knew that this information would be dangerous, because it might stop further construction projects in the city, or convince his largely Republican constituency that evolution and science were things that actually existed. This could not be. The two guests were never seen again.

What the Mayor didn’t know was the worker's discovery was not a fossil at all, but the shed skin of a very special creature who had just moved into the area--and who had just enrolled in Carmel High School…Gill Lawrence, The Creature From the Emo Lagoon.

Unfortunately for the mayor, he miscalculated the Creature’s intentions. Gill really only wanted to be left alone, because he knew his love came with a curse, and if he let anyone in (like the sweet-smelling daughter of the mayor) it could only end in disaster. But the mayor feared Gill because he was different. His overreaction to the arrival of Gill led to a conflict that would eventually stop progress on his final roundabout, and tear apart his family.

Associations and Relations: The Mayor of Crazytown has isolated himself and his city from the outside world, so his associations with others outside of Carmel are extremely limited.

The Mayor of Crazytown has one daughter who attends Carmel High School, named Redonda. She is in love with The Creature From the Emo Lagoon.

Enemies: The Mayor of Crazytown’s major adversary is the Creature From the Emo Lagoon, who threatens to destroy all of the round things he holds dear.



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