The Creature From the Emo Lagoon's heart is breaking right now, because he can do all of this awesome stuff... except allow his one true love to make the sacrifice of living in a lagoon.

The Creature From the Emo Lagoon

Ethical Stance: Detached and protective of what he loves, but can never really have.

Skills and Abilities: The Creature from the Emo Lagoon possesses 10 times the strength of a normal adult human male, excellent agility, the ability to breath and live underwater, night vision, razor sharp claws, and the skill to swim faster than a speeding harpoon.

Weaknesses: Lip biting girls.

Origin: Gill Lawrence moved from Brazil because his mom, a scientist and a single mother, got a job at Roche Diagnostics. His mom immediately enrolled him in Carmel High School, because learning is FUNdamental. While in physics class, he was seated next to Redonda Brainard. At first glance he caught her eye (mostly because he was the only student in the class who was an Universal Movie Monster), and she immediately began biting her lip. Gill, not having lips of his own, found this intriguing, and could not get the thought of this dark-haired girl with the longing stares out of his mind.

As the semester progressed, looks turned to casual greetings, and small hellos blossomed into long conversations about Grey's Anatomy and kelp. One day, Gill worked up the courage to invite Redonda to his cavern beneath the manicured lagoons of Carmel's Monon Park. While walking on one of the park's trails, a pointy bike helmet flew off the head of one of Carmel's many 40 year old, slightly out of shape, spandexed recumbent bikers and headed right for Redonda's face. Gill, who had stopped to pick a flower along the trail, saw what was about to happen, leapt 20 feet in the air, and swatted the helmet away, while tackling Redonda to the ground. She leaned in to kiss him, but he pushed her away and ran to his cave.

That night Redonda came home gushing to her father about the mysterious new student who had set her lips aflame, without ever touching them. Of course, he was only concerned about the general roundness of the boy, if he had an "O" anywhere in his name, and what he thought about roundabouts in general. He also suggested that the reason her lips were enflamed might have something to do with all the biting.

What he didn't know was that this boy was connected to the fossil that had been found in the park…the very same fossil that could convince his largely Republican constituency that evolution and science were things that actually existed. If that happened, the town could begin to think rationally, vote him out, and (most importantly) stop progress on his final roundabout.

The next day at school, Gill tried to ignore Redonda, but she persisted. In a confrontation outside the cafeteria, Redonda screamed, "Why won't you love me?"

Gill could only respond with a single tear from his obsidian eyes and the pained words, "Because I'm different. And also, I can only reproduce by shedding gametes in the water around me!"

But, as Gill was about to give in to his merman desires and take Redonda in his arms, a gunshot broke their unborn embrace. Swiftly moving his swollen-lipped beauty from harm's way, Gill pursued the assassin. All he could find was a small piece of torn, forest-green pant. When he showed it to Redonda, she recognized it immediately. Before her was a piece of the very same pants she saw her father's dinner guest wear the night before.

Gill pressed her for the name. When she gasped, "Dr. David Reed. My father brought him in to track down some sciency thing they found in the park a couple of days ago," The Creature From the Emo Lagoon knew that he had to get her to safety. Dr. Reed was his mother's former lover, but she had abandoned him for his father. Dr. Reed was also one of the men who killed his father.

With rage and fear in his heart, The Creature From the Emo Lagoon tracked Dr. Reed across the cul-de-sacs and Protestant churches of Carmel's mean streets. His final steps led to the very La Quinta Inn where Gill had hid his mother and Redonda. Having deduced Dr. Reed's trap, Gill rented the adjoining room, punched through the paper-thin walls, and dragged Dr. Reed through. Then he ate him.

After defeating his foe, he returned to the frightened and weeping ladies in the next room and consoled them. The demise of Dr. Reed became a double scandal for Mayor Brainard, as news got out that his daughter had been checked into a hotel room that had a hole punched through it. The rumors of his daughter's "rockstar lifestyle" (though not true) were damaging. Even worse was the revelation that Mayor Brainard had used tax-payer money to pay for Dr. Reed's assassination expedition. As everyone knows, any time you use tax-payer money to do anything in Indiana, it's bad and often leads to political radioactivity.

Associations and Relations: The Creature From the Emo Lagoon loves two women. His mother, and Redonda Brainard. All others are irrelevant. Also, sometimes he hangs out with draculas, mummies, and wolfmen.

Enemies: The Creature From the Emo Lagoon counts the late and delicious Dr. David Reed, and The Mayor of Crazytown as his major adversaries.